Loneliness: “In Berlin, even a friendly hello in the hallway is sometimes considered objectionable.”

Katharina Schulz is the loneliness commissioner in Reinickendorf. She is the only one in the city and the entire state who is officially taking action against a growing feeling of loneliness.

On the chat bench: Loneliness Commissioner Katharina Schulz. Maurice Weiss/Ostkreuz

One weekday morning at 11 a.m. at Reinickendorf Town Hall. Anyone who knows Katharina Schulz, the district's loneliness officer, only from the photo on the district office's website would never expect such a cheerful and empathetic woman. "It's just the job," she says of the photo – and you immediately know what she means. Her rolling "R" comes from Poland, where she grew up until the age of five. Almost exactly a year ago, District Mayor Emine Demirbürken-Wegner appointed the 43-year-old to her position, which is still a first in Berlin and Germany. State television KBS even came from South Korea and wanted to know how people are doing to combat loneliness. Schulz explains that not everyone in Berlin welcomes her position. People often say that the city should invest its funds in school renovations instead of constantly creating "new officers." "And then the position of loneliness officer was created," says Katharina Schulz – and laughs. We first sit in the town hall canteen, which offers excellent Mediterranean snacks, but then move to her office when the lunchtime crowd gets too loud.

Ms. Schulz, what gives you the authority to fight loneliness? Is it your professional qualifications? Do you have any knowledge of loneliness?

I believe that everyone, if they listen to themselves and summon the courage to reflect on it, knows loneliness. Loneliness is a subjective feeling and can be found in all social classes. You can have it all – and still feel bitterly alone. It is the feeling of not being needed, not being heard, not being loved, not being seen. Of no longer belonging to a community, of being isolated. All of this contributes to existing illnesses such as anxiety disorders, depression, cardiovascular disease and more. Loneliness can even become a problem for democracy : people who feel lonely are more likely to become radicalized and indulge in conspiracy theories. I am neither a doctor nor a social worker, but I highlight ways to escape loneliness. I feel I am exactly the right person for this position.

How did you get there?

I'm actually a business economist and come from a private sector background. I started working in the civil service ten years ago. I was busy planning events at Reinickendorf Town Hall, and then five years ago I got involved in the large field of civic engagement, which fits together well. Volunteering can provide a lot of help for those who are lonely. In the same way, volunteering can be a way out of loneliness. Think of visiting services, reading mentors, all sorts of things. So it made sense to combine these two roles in one person. I don't go to the people affected myself, but I create overarching structures and measures, plan events and, above all, network. We're involved with everyone: community centers, religious communities, churches, migrant self-help organizations, and so on. Here in Reinickendorf, our mayor,Ms. Demirbürken-Wegner , made us aware of this issue years ago. She created this position.

Please explain this.

When she was still Secretary of State for Health in the House of Representatives, she submitted the first petitions and motions for funding a loneliness commissioner over ten years ago. There was a lot of resistance. She was ridiculed. And when she became mayor here, she established the position.

“Berlin has forgotten how to be close”

You might be able to alleviate loneliness with your offerings, but first, the lonely people have to have the courage to come. Because every participation means that if I go there now, I'm outing myself, right?

That's my job – to encourage people and show them options. I understand, of course, that many people no longer have any trust in society because they've experienced so much negativity. But we have to convey the message that there are solutions, even for bitterness. Whether that's cultural or social activities, professional help from doctors or the health department, mobility assistance or sports options. There really are a lot, including going for walks together, helping people with neighbors, or visiting community centers – everyone could really find something suitable. Our senior citizens' leisure facilities, for example, have around 90 different groups. But you're right, of course, when you say: first and foremost, it's the person themselves who has to want to get out of there. We can only nudge them and offer opportunities.

How do you find out about lonely people in your area?

It's obviously difficult with young people, but our Reinickendorf seniors, for example, benefit from our birthday greeting service. Volunteers go and congratulate people on their birthdays, sometimes see what's going on, and then contact us. We also still have some neighborhood structures where community works well, for example, at the "Konditorei Laufer," where the first regulars' table to combat loneliness was founded over a year ago. Those who won't be there for an extended period of time check in with Laufer's staff, following the motto: If I don't pick up my bread for a week, you don't have to worry!

We just took a photo of you outside on a so-called chat bench, which is meant to encourage people to talk to each other. Does that work?

The idea for these benches came from Great Britain, but we don't need to reinvent the wheel. The people of Reinickendorf have certainly taken to the benches. They're delighted and are suggesting locations for them themselves. I know of an elderly lady who lives in the Märkisches Viertel, a widow and very old. At a "chat meeting" she came to me and asked for a pen and paper because she had started talking to another woman who happened to live near her. They exchanged numbers and drove home together. The next chat bench will be one in the cemetery, where a Catholic chaplain is on site on Thursdays from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. and doesn't leave those affected alone in their grief. Word will get around quickly, I'm sure.

You've been doing this for almost a year now. Is your success measurable?

Almost 22,000 people over the age of 80 live in Reinickendorf. And we can already see that our offers are paying off in terms of numbers. I keep meeting people who only got to know each other through our activities, who became friends and meet up regularly for a chat. Women are more open to this than men. Our loneliness meal on December 24th is also becoming more and more popular. You meet people who have been alone for five years in a row at Christmas. But who notices that in the apartment buildings and then wants to look after them? Many Berliners don't even know their neighbors, who they have lived next door to for years. Berlin has many advantages, but people have clearly forgotten what proximity means. Sometimes even a friendly hello in the hallway is considered objectionable. People think, "What is he talking to me about?" But this used to be a matter of course when it comes to interacting with one another. The same goes for standing up for older people on the bus or asking "May I come in" in the supermarket. People would rather push their way through everywhere in silence.

You're right.

I know that after your article, the number of calls here is increasing again. But many will also say they're asking for a friend.

That's sad. Perhaps loneliness should be discussed as openly as depression and anxiety are today, even if it's primarily influencers or celebrities who do it, and some have even turned it into a business model.

Absolutely. Loneliness is a silent suffering. It makes you withdraw. And that's why it needs to be said out loud. We humans need to become more mindful again, especially here in the big city. Not just with ourselves, but especially with our fellow human beings.

Can someone call you directly?

Well, I'm not a hotline or anything, but people from all over Germany actually reach me; it's not limited to Berlin. I'm only responsible for Reinickendorf, but I really try to talk to everyone and help. I would never hang up. But we're also starting to build a team now because there's so much to do and the response has been so positive. We're also getting inquiries from other Berlin districts, from other communities. They ask: How do you do it?

Shouldn't all of Berlin have someone like you? Doesn't all of Germany need a Ministry of Loneliness, like the one we already have in Great Britain?

The political need for this must first be recognized. Our mayor has been fighting for this issue for years – tirelessly, even at the state level. Where she is, loneliness is a central issue. And now that we exist, other districts are also starting to take the issue seriously. The more publicity it receives, the more people dare to go to facilities and say: I'm lonely, help me! That's why we designed a sticker, a logo, for our office, and every facility that has it on knows how to deal with those affected. The worst thing is when someone plucks up the courage to go somewhere and is then turned away.

Reinickendorf is also the Berlin district with the most elderly people. Loneliness has long since reached young people, especially since the pandemic. And statistics show that more than half of 16- to 30-year-olds in this country feel lonely. What's more, Berlin has almost 60 percent single-person households. How do you deal with this? I recently spoke to a student on the phone who is writing her master's thesis on the topic, in the context of architecture. She said she'd dealt with loneliness long enough and had also discussed it with her fellow students. In the end, she was brave enough to say: "I feel lonely from time to time, too. How do you deal with it?" The response was apparently fantastic. The topic simply needs to be removed from the taboo zone. It needs to be open to discussion, then it will lose its stigma, which unfortunately still persists: If you're lonely, it's your own fault. That's nonsense.

“We now prefer to look away rather than look at it”

To ask a somewhat polemical question: Isn't it also true that many who come to Berlin consider themselves unique, want to do something creative and make it big, and then, in their drive to be particularly individualistic, become lonely? Sure, the zeitgeist practically conjures up individualism. We are raising more and more small egos. We strive for unlimited freedom, for boundless perfection, but we are still not happy. We lock away old age so we don't have to face it. This will also place an increasing burden on health insurance companies. Research says loneliness is more harmful than 15 cigarettes a day. It promotes mental illness, and in the worst cases, chronic loneliness can lead to suicide, as the corresponding heading in the crime statistics is called.

If individual freedom is becoming increasingly important in late capitalism, aren't chatterboxes just a drop in the ocean?

That's why we have to explain in schools that life isn't just about social media. Even with two hundred thousand followers, you can be incredibly lonely. Because if your phone is turned off, you're sitting alone in your room - and no one's there. Of course, social media is a chance to find support and compassion, but it will never replace real social interaction. Meeting someone, giving them a hug, looking them in the eye - we humans need that as social beings. But because we find young people primarily in the digital world , we've put a great video on YouTube. And on December 16, the Loneliness Summit will take place again in Reinickendorf. This year the focus is on young people, and there will be a livestream on Instagram.